Things Not to Say in a Cover Letter

Sorry I haven't posted lately; my brain's been otherwise occupied. So in the interest of futilely trying to keep your interest, here are some things you probably shouldn't say in a cover letter when applying for internships. All of these are things I actually thought of saying. Only three of them are true, and only one of them made it into a cover letter in some form or another. If you can guess all four, I'll buy you a beer.

"I've always wanted to work in a shiny glass building."

"I admire a law firm that has 'bj' in its acronym."

"I don't really care where I work, I just want a job."

"I really liked the neat picture on your web page."

"I like your firm, but the fact that your website is not compatible with Firefox leads me to worry about your commitment to staying current with technology."

"My experience in graduate school has made me used to spending days on end in a small office without seeing another human being."

"I've always wanted to work with a bunch of Jews."

"What I find really makes your firm unique is your use of the word 'camaraderie' instead of 'collegiality'."